Fourth Life By Night
by ReavansMask
Summary: A companion to Ashara Shepard: The Fourth Life. (Though most of the stories stand alone) It covers events that didn't fit into the main plot, many of them romantic and/or smutty, that I still wanted to show.
1. The Promise of a New Beginning

**So, this is a companion to Ashara Shepard: The Fourth Life, illustrating some of the moments that didn't fit naturally into the main story but that I wanted to show anyway, many of them romantic and/or smutty. They are part of the larger plot, but I think in most cases can be enjoyed without reading it. (Though I hope you do read both) This first one is set right before the Chapter 13, the beginning of Where They Travelled.**

* * *

"So, asari really don't have weddings?"

Liara smiles indulgently at Ashley. The newly promoted captain is looking quite striking in her dress blues, and Liara eagerly anticipates seeing Shepard in hers. They make her look particularly dashing, but it has been some time since Ashara has had occasion to don them. Normally of course, Liara would have watched Shepard as she dressed, but apparently, there is a old human custom that it is poor luck for the couple being married to see each other on their wedding day before the ceremony. As a result, she had, for the first time in months, spent the night back in her own cabin and she has to admit that it has built her anticipation for what will come next.

"Not as you would think of them. Because we can share thoughts with our partners, for my people, it is the certain knowledge that both people wish to spend their lives together that makes them bondmates. This commitment can then be registered for legal purposes, but that is a mere formality."

Ashley is incredulous. "But no ceremony? No party? No relatives getting drunk and making fools of themselves?"

Liara laughs. "Captain Williams, I would never have guessed that you were such a romantic."

"Hey," she insists, "Just because I can snipe down a charging krogan with one shot doesn't mean I can't be a girl sometimes."

"Fair enough. To answer your question, we did once have communal ceremonies marking the establishment of a committed bonding pair, but they fell into disuse after we began to have regular contact with aliens. We found it simpler to adapt ourselves to the customs of those we fell in love with."

"But what about when two asari get bonded? Like Benezia and Aethyta?"

Liara sighs regretfully. "Such unions are no longer seen as desirable. They still take place, but because of the stigma against them, a public celebration is considered inappropriate."

"I'm sorry." Ashley shakes her head, clearly annoyed at herself for bringing the subject up. "I know you got a hard time about that as a kid."

"Do not worry." She grins. "Of late, I am far better known for my bondmate than for my heritage."

Ashley smiles back. "I think these days we're all better known for our association with Shepard than our families, which in my case…"

She's interrupted by the buzzing of her omni-tool, and Garrus' voice breaks into the conversation. "Get a move on it, Captain. It's time."

* * *

The cargo hold of the _Normandy_ isn't exactly the kind of fantasy wedding location most people would dream of. The crew have certainly done their level best to prepare the room for the ceremony. In spite of their busy schedule of relief work and the shortages that still plague the galaxy a year after the Reaper War ended, they've managed to scrounge up some decorations. Flowers and streamers festoon the hold, and there's even a carpet leading up to the make-shift alter they've erected. None the less, it's still a cargo hold, with crates of supplies moved off to the side of the room and two Kodiak shuttles serving as a backdrop for the happy occasion.

Ashara Shepard wouldn't have it any other way. This place has been her home, and the people here are the only family she has left, her blood relatives having died long ago on Mindoir. There are certainly a few more that she wishes could be here with her and Liara today. Miranda, who brought her back from the brink of death twice, is elsewhere on Alliance business. Wrex is still overseeing the reconstruction of Tuchanka. Aethyta, Liara's only surviving parent, though alive, has been annoyingly elusive.

Still, those that matter most to Shepard are here, her closest friends: Garrus, Tali, Ashley, and of course her bride-to-be, Liara T'Soni. The Spectre had wanted to do this before the crew start to go their separate ways. Tomorrow, she and Liara are going to move into their home on Thessia, and with many of the others planning to leave after that, she's glad to have this final moment with all of them together.

Behind her, Tali seems to have finally gotten everything set up. The quarian had been both surprised and thrilled when Shepard asked her to officiate at the wedding. "Hey, you're an Admiral of the Quarian Flotilla," Ashara had reminded her, "Even if you're currently detailed to the _Normandy_." With Garrus serving as her Best Man and Ashley as Liara's Maid of Honor, everything has worked out nicely. She's glad her bondmate and her successor as captain of the _Normandy_ have become so much closer. Back on the SR-1, Ash had been suspicious of Liara, but that's long in the past.

Garrus informs Ashley that they're ready to begin and as the elevator hums into action and the wedding processional starts to play over the loudspeakers, Shepard fixes her eyes on the door, eager for a glimpse of her bride. Of course, they're both brides, but they decided to arrange matters this way in accordance with asari custom.

Lacking a traditional conception of male and female due to their unique biology, they instead assign titles on the basis of roles. A mother and father for instance are the names given to the asari who birthed the child and the one who's genetic code was mapped. Since asari bonded to aliens generally bore the children, they considered it appropriate for them to take on the female role. "Besides," Shepard thinks to herself, "I probably look a lot more butch in my dress uniform than Liara… will… in…"

The thought trails off mid-sentence as the lift doors open and she gets her first look at Liara in her wedding dress. To Shepard, the asari looks absolutely beautiful in pretty much anything and especially nothing at all, but right now, she's leaving her stunned. Her bondmate has chosen a gown of white and blue, relatively simple, but elegant, and its pattern suggests the jumpsuit she was wearing the day that they first met on Therum. Of course, that outfit didn't have a cut that so tantalizingly displayed the tops of Liara's breasts, nor did it's thicker fabric cling as appealingly to her soft curves.

Every eye in the room goes to the asari, but Shepard can't tear hers away, enraptured even as the service starts. "Dearly beloved," Tali begins, following the human form, but though she's doing a perfectly good job of performing the ceremony, Ashara hardly notices, her attention fixed on her beloved.

They've written their own vows, and it's Shepard who's supposed to go first, but when she looks into the asari's bright blue eyes shinning with love, it takes her a moment to remember where she even is let alone what she's supposed to say. "Liara, I…" She swallows and finds her voice, trying to convey with her words the depths of her feelings for her lover.

"It's hard for me to know where to even begin, except to say that I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for you. The things that happened in the last few years, well, I don't think that anyone could have been ready for them. I certainly wasn't, but I found a way to get through anyway, and it's because of you."

"You won my heart so fast I barely noticed when it happened, but you also became tougher and more capable than I ever expected, the best partner anyone could have asked for. Even when it seemed like there was no hope left for me, you never gave up, and without you, I wouldn't have gotten this second chance. And you kept me believing not just that we could win, but that there was something worth winning for, something worth coming back to. I love you Liara T'Soni, and now that the war is over, I can't think of any better reward than getting to spend the rest of my life with you."

Liara bows her head and Shepard can see her blinking back tears, but when she speaks her voice is clear and full of happiness. "Before I met you, I had been a solitary person. I had never even considered taking a bondmate and instead, your love convinced me to become the youngest asari in 5 generations of the T'Soni family to do so. It is, I suppose, one more thing we can add to the list of incredible feats you have accomplished." Some of the audience laughs, and Liara continues.

"You said that I never gave up on you. How could I have, when I loved you so much? You have done so much for me, and made me so much stronger than I ever thought I could be. It has been my privilege to fight by your side these last years, Ashara Shepard, and nothing could give me greater joy than to say that I will be your wife."

Shepard can almost feel Tali beaming with happiness for them from behind her helmet as she declares, "I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may kiss."

Ashara steps forward and wraps her arms around Liara's back even as her new wife throws hers around her neck. Their lips come together, and as Shepard feels Liara's soft lips parting for her, the small crowd around them bursts into cheers. The kiss deepens, her wife's nimble tongue sliding into her mouth, the sweet warm taste of Liara filling her senses. For a brief instant, Liara's eyes flash dark and their minds touch together, just long enough for the word, "forever," to be sent into Shepard's thoughts, and her "always" to be heard in return.

* * *

The reception passes in a blur. Comrades and friends come to offer their congratulations and good wishes for the new life she and Shepard are about to start, but though she's grateful, it's hard for her to think about anything but her wife.

Liara hadn't expected to be this deeply touched by the wedding; they had pledged themselves to each other over a year ago after all, and yet, this is different. That day on the Citadel had been a hopeful promise, the sharing of a dream that maybe, just maybe, they would survive long enough to achieve. This ceremony is an affirmation that they've made it, that they're really ready to begin their new life together.

With a final hug from Tali and an exhortation from Joker to "Take pictures," she and Shepard make their way together towards the elevator, and as the doors close behind them, Ashara is already pulling her into her arms.

"God, you look fantastic." Her new wife's breath is warm against her cheek, Shepard's voice low and sultry. "I haven't been able to think straight since the moment you came out of those doors." Eager fingers caress Liara's thigh, the satin delightfully smooth when it rubs against the blue skin beneath it.

"I am glad you approve," she manages, even as Shepard's other hand is curving around the back of her crest, playing its way along a particularly sensitive ridge that Ashara knows she loves to have stroked.

Her knees start to feel weak as Shepard purrs, "I can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life doing this." The doors open behind them, and the couple stumbles out of them, falling through the entrance to the commander's cabin. They don't even make it to the bed, Ashara pushing her up against a wall, her fingers tracing their way up the slit of her dress to caress the bare skin of her leg.

The asari can only whimper into Ashara's kiss as she feels the lacy scrap of white underwear she's wearing begin to be lifted. She loves when Shepard is like this, so turned on, burning so hot for her. No one Liara's ever met arouses her the way that Ashara does, and to be able to have the same effect on the woman she loves is intoxicating.

The tips of Ashara's fingers start to brush over her inner scales, and she can tell how wet she already is, digits gliding so easily across slick flesh. Her hand clutches at Ashara's dirty blonde hair, trying to keep herself from collapsing entirely. Shepard's free arm supports her, wrapping around her waist, and when she feels her lover enter her, Liara lets out a soft cry, her eyes already starting to fleck with darkness.

First one and then two fingers thrust inside the asari, and before her self-control can vanish entirely, she chokes out, "Wait."

"What is it?", Ashara asks, her fingers sliding out, but not before brushing tantalizingly over Liara's clit, further testing her crumbling resolve.

"Together," she gasps, and with a supreme effort of will, she summons enough biotic power to push Shepard gently back in the direction of the bed. "You need less clothes," she insists hungrily, and Ashara gets the message, rapidly removing her uniform even as she lays back on the sheets.

Liara kicks off her shoes before letting her dress slide off of her shoulders and finally bending down to remove her now-soaked panties. In spite of her desire, she forces herself to walk slowly towards the bed, knowing how much Ashara likes watching her naked body, loving the intensity in the way those pale green eyes are starring up at her. By now, the human has succeeded in removing her shirt, bra, and pants, but before she can get to her green silk underwear, Liara stops her. "Let me," she purrs, dropping down onto the bed beneath Ashara.

The asari swiftly kisses her way up Shepard's bare leg before removing her panties. The commander is wonderfully aroused, her wet folds slick as Liara enthusiastically flicks her tongue over and between them. She dips her tongue inside for a moment, eager for more of the rich, thick taste she can never get enough of. Between her legs, her own clit is throbbing desperately for more, but Liara can wait a minute if it means pushing Shepard as close to the brink as she is before they meld.

Her wife moans as Liara takes her clit into her mouth, sucking on the hard point and when Shepard's fingers frantically caress her crest, the asari knows she can't hold off any more. She cocks her head up and her eyes are black with desire, latching on to Shepard's willing mind.

The mixture of love and desire she's so used to fills her, but as strong as she can remember it being, and a rush of images flow through the bond. Therum… before Ilos… after Hagalaz… after the war… Goddess, they've had so many wonderful moments, and the thought of how many more they have to come fills her with indescribable happiness. "Always," she whispers, repeating what Ashara sent to her at the wedding, and when, "Forever," comes back from her wife, Liara can't wait any longer.

She glides up Shepard's body, brushing the erect tips of her dark blue nipples over the warm skin beneath her before falling into her wife's arms. Strong hands pull her close and a thigh parts her legs, sliding expertly over her slick core even as she feels Shepard pressing herself against Liara as well.

They move together, thoughts and bodies flowing as one, the bond making it deliciously easy to find just the right angles and share the pleasure that results when they do. Every time Shepard runs her thigh along the engorged length of Liara's clit, the asari can feel herself moving a little closer, and she runs her tongue over her lover's ear, whispering in her mind, "I love you."

"I love you too," she hears back, "More than anything else in the galaxy," and Ashara's hand caresses her backside, pulling her tighter, increasing the friction between them. Liara can't last much longer, and she doesn't want to, the desire to come and feel Shepard do the same incredibly strong in her mind.

"God, yes. Together." She can hear the response to her unspoken need, and Shepard's other hand slides down between them. Her fingers curl inside Liara's soaked entrance, and that's what finally does it, the sensation of her lover inside her pulling Liara over the edge even as a final press of her thigh against Shepard's swollen clit does then same for her. Their climaxes merge through the meld, twinning and heightening their pleasure, drawing it out over a timeless moment.

Even as it passes and the meld slowly recedes, Liara still finds it too much to move or even speak, content to just hold and be held, to enjoy the rapturous smile she sees on Ashara's beautiful face. She knows this won't last forever. There's still desire in her wife's eyes along with happiness, and she feels it too, the intensity of the craving she feels for Shepard not easily satisfied despite the bliss they've just shared. But that's a good thing. There's no more war, no need to drag themselves away from what they can't get enough of. They have the rest of the night to be satisfied and a lifetime to enjoy this together.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this; I know it was pretty sappy, but I apologize for nothing. This couple just brings out the romantic in me. The next one will feature Jack and Miranda's first time and will definitely be less sweet. In the meantime, I will try to figure out the tangled web of the next chapter in 4****th**** Life proper.**


	2. Screw You

**This story is set shortly before Chapter 18 of 4****th**** Life, and it the depicts the incident between Jack and Miranda that Jack is telling Shepard about.**

* * *

"And I," Jack argues, "Say that chick needs to get laid. 400 years of just humping your own blue hand is a long time even if you have sworn some stupid justicar oath."

Kahlee Sanders laughs. "All right, ladies, I'm calling it a night. I believe I've reached the limits of my ability to keep up with you two."

"Good night," Miranda smiles. "Perhaps I will see you tomorrow before I leave." She can hardly blame her for giving up. Between Miranda's augmented physiology and Jack's biotically fueled metabolism, trying to match drinks with either of them is a foolhardy endeavor for most people.

Still, Miranda's sorry to see Kahlee go. The blonde had been the one who suggested that as long as Miranda was here escorting some new students to Grissom Academy, the three of them should catch up. While Sanders was here, she'd been acting as a calming influence, but her departure leaves Miranda alone with her least favorite former member of the _Normandy's_ crew.

"A lovely woman," Miranda observes as Jack pours herself another shot of whisky. "How she puts up with you all the time I will never know." She wouldn't normally provoke Jack so deliberately, but the woman has been absolutely insufferable tonight, treating nearly every mention of their old comrades as an excuse to alternately bad-mouth them or make obscene suggestions about their current activities.

Jack pounds down the drink. "Puts up with me? You were always the cold-hearted bitch no one else could stand."

That cuts too close to home. Beyond Jacob and later Shepard, there were not many people on the _Normandy_ she got along with and she doesn't like being reminded of it. "Yes, whereas I imagine you were as popular as an asari stripper at a bachelor party." It's hard for Miranda to keep the venomous edge out of her voice, the resentments that Shepard never let her fully vent bubbling up to the surface. There's just something about Jack that gets under her skin like no one else that she's ever met.

"Hey, Grunt, Zaeed, and I all got along great."

"Ah yes, making friends with a tank-bred krogan too young to know any better and a sociopathic mercenary. A shining testament to your social skills."

"Fuck you, princess. You're a killer too. The only difference between you and Zaeed is that he doesn't have a stick up his ass." She shoots Miranda an angry glare. "I don't know why I'm even wasting my booze on a terrorist like you."

"A terrorist like me? You're the one whose idea of a good time was crashing a space station into a hanar moon." Miranda takes another shot of the whisky. "If you want to talk about mysteries, I don't know how someone with your extensive criminal record was ever hired to be a teacher."

Jack chuckles. "Hey, I'm very popular with my students."

"I'm sure you are. Adolescents are always fond of anyone who gives them a peek at their breasts." Jack's laugh dies on her lips and Miranda's mouth curls into a sneer. "Do you let them do more than look?"

Miranda realizes as soon as she says it that she's crossed a line, attacking the thing that matters most to Jack, but she's still unprepared for what happens next. One instant, Jack is snarling, "Shut your mouth, you fucking Cerberus whore," and the next, she's reaching across the table, grabbing Miranda's head and shoving her tongue down the surprised brunette's throat.

The jolt of pleasure that runs through Miranda at the press of the ex-convict's lips is startling to say the least, but she's not going to let that show. Instead, she throws Jack off of her before cursing at her, "What in the bloody hell is wrong with you?"

Jack smirks back nastily. "Give me a fucking break. You liked that."

"Don't be ridiculous," she lies, but the blush in her cheeks is giving her away. Miranda can't stand the woman, but she also can't deny that there was electricity in the biotic's lips, a bolt of lightning that ran straight down Ms. Lawson's spine when they kissed.

"Hey, I may not have a genetically enhanced intellect like you, but I know damn well when somebody enjoys what I'm doing."

Fine. If she can't bluff her way out of this, she'll have to turn it back around on Jack. "And I can tell the difference between someone who wants to shut me up and someone who just wants me." Before Jack can think of a comeback to that, Miranda pulls the shorter woman close to her again, kissing her full lips hard and grabbing her ass through the fabric of her dark jeans.

Jack tastes like liquor and power, her body all lean muscle and taut energy, but when she moans into Miranda's mouth, the former operative is relieved. She knows how to deal with people who're attracted to her; it's the desire building in her own body that she's not as used to.

Pushing that concern to one side, she yanks off Jack's Grissom Academy t-shirt, a flare of biotic energy aiding her task. The ex-convict's skin is bare beneath it, her pert, tattooed breasts flushed with desire. The nipples atop them are already hard and as Miranda begins rolling one of them between her fingers, she hisses in Jack's ear, "Is that all this was? All these years, all that attitude you gave me was just your crude way of hiding your horniness?"

Jack moans into her shoulder and Miranda's confident that she has her. She has more experience with men than women and less with either than one might think, but she's very good at reading what people want and Jack wants this. The elevated pulse, the rapid breathing, the way her body presses into her touch: whatever the biotic was thinking when she first kissed Miranda, she's clearly aroused now.

Miranda pushes her back against the table, running her free hand up Jack's clothed leg even as her other keeps playing with her breasts. She's so sure she has the upper hand, but then, even as her hand starts to rub over Jack's clothed crotch, the woman breaks free, a burst of biotic energy knocking Miranda off of her.

"Nice try, cheerleader," Jack laughs, shaking her head to clear her thoughts, "But I'm not going to be the only one that loses her shirt." She clenches her first and her biotic field rips Miranda's Alliance uniform shirt open, tearing her black lace bra off in the process. Miranda's nipples are rock hard, and Jacks grins. "Looks like you really were enjoying this." The biotic chuckles. "I should kick you out right now. Shove your ass out in the hall and let everyone see what a little Cerberus slut you really are."

"You fucking little bitch! You wouldn't dare!"

"Don't worry," Jack replies with a chuckle, "I'm gonna have too much fun with you in here to do that just yet." With a gesture, she yanks Miranda close to her again, running her teeth and tongue over a pink bud, looking up smugly when an involuntary groan escapes from the brunette. "See, the difference between us is I can admit what I want. I wanna fuck you. Why not? You're built to be a sex-bot anyway. Your problem," she explains as she removes Miranda's belt and unbuttons her pants with a thought, "is that you're so stuck up that you can't just admit how soaking wet you are for someone like me."

The damnable thing of it is that she's right. As Jack's hand moves inside her black panties and through the neatly trimmed strip of dark hair beneath them, Miranda can't remember being this turned on. When she's had sex in the past it's either been because she wanted something from her partner or at most because she was expressing moderate affection. She's never felt anything like the animal passion this infuriating woman's fingers caressing her swollen folds is bringing out of her.

The hell with it. Why should she be ashamed of taking what she wants from Jack? With a low growl, she summons her own biotics, pushing off the field constraining her. She yanks the ex-convict's belt off and shoves her hand down the back of her pants, pushing inside her boxers to caress her firm ass. "You're right," she snaps, her right hand curling around to rub the engorged flesh between Jack's legs. "I do want this." She tangles her left in Jack's short brown hair, pulling her in for a fierce kiss.

Jack finishes yanking down her uniform pants to get better access to Miranda and as two of her fingers slide into the ex-Cerberus operative, the biotic purrs nastily, "Real easy. The Illusive Man loosen you up for me?"

A gasp of pleasure escapes Miranda and lacking the words to reply to the dig, she pushes her own fingers inside Jack's tight, wet heat. That shuts her up admirably, and Miranda takes advantage of her distraction to push a knee between Jack's thighs. The ex-convict begins grinding against her, and Miranda can see in her big, brown eyes an echo of the same energy she's feeling: lust mixed with other emotions, harder to define but present none the less.

Jack pushes her palm against Miranda's clit, and as she resumes her thrusts, the operative can't believe how easily she's being pushed towards climax. A press of her finger's against Jack's pulsing inner walls makes the shorter woman dig her nails into Miranda's back, and she can tell she's not the only one. The sharpness of the need inside her is more than she's ever felt before, but she'll be damned if she's going to give Jack the satisfaction of making her finish first.

She presses her leg hard against Jack's clit and she hears, "More," being moaned in her ear. For just an second, she can see a trace of vulnerability beneath the anger, and when she pushes as deep as she can inside, the biotic gives in, her channel spasming around thrusting fingers.

Jack's teeth sink into her shoulder, stifling a cry of pleasure, but Miranda's triumph is short-lived. The twitching digits inside her release a tiny pulse of biotic energy, and the extra stimulation combined with the feeling of Jack coming unraveled against her is too much. She screams like she never does, her knees going wobbly as her orgasm rips through her.

The release is so much stronger than she's used to, a burning bolt in her system as compared to the pleasant warmth she normally feels, and the two _Normandy_ veterans collapse away from each other, both breathing hard. The lust that had clouded Miranda's brain is clearing and she's momentarily speechless. What do you say when a woman you despise just gave you the most powerful orgasm of your life? Jack doesn't open her mouth either, an unusual look of contentment on her face, and for a moment, Miranda can't fathom what comes next.

And then Jack shakes her head, and that contemptuous sneer returns. "You waiting for something? You think we're gonna cuddle now?" She snorts and Miranda curses herself for thinking even for an instant that this was more than a hate fuck.

"Don't be ridiculous," she snarls back. Pulling on her pants and underwear, she grabs a black t-shirt Jack has left lying on the floor to replace the uniform the biotic destroyed. Though it's probably too big on Jack, it's ridiculously tight on the well-endowed operative but there's no alternative she can think of.

Throwing open the door to Jack's quarters, she stalks through the halls of Grissom Academy and back to her guest room. Her unusual appearance elicits stares from those night owls still up and about to see it, but the frigid look on her face deflects any unwanted questions. Given the mix of lust, anger, and self-loathing warring within her, she has no desire to talk to anyone else.

* * *

Liquor and fatigue let Miranda fall asleep quickly despite the roil of emotion she's feeling, but when she wakes, her thoughts remain unsettled. A part of her wants to dismiss what happened as being caused by a mixture of alcohol and loneliness, but that's not entirely convincing.

Even if the red mark on her shoulder and the pleasant soreness between her legs weren't reminder enough, her brain keeps replaying the events of the previous night. The memories aren't exactly unpleasant either, no matter how much she may dislike the woman associated with them.

Why did it have to be Jack? What's wrong with Miranda that, of all people, Jack is the one that she felt that kind of a spark with? The idea of actually having a relationship with the ex-convict is absurd, and it's not like her former crewmate's behavior in the aftermath suggests she feels any differently.

It would be easy to avoid Jack until she leaves. The students Miranda brought to the academy are settled in, and it'll just be another 10 hours or so until her ship departs. It's unworthy of her though. She's Miranda Lawson and she's not hiding in her room from that damned lunatic. She's going to face this like an adult, and so a shower and a fresh uniform later, she's heading down to the dinning hall to get some breakfast.

She finds Jack already there, finishing up a stack of pancakes, and before she can leave, Miranda sits down across from her. "Jack. I thought perhaps we should talk."

"Why," Jack mumbles, her mouth full of food.

"I don't know?" Miranda's voice drips with sarcasm, but she keeps it quiet, not wanting to draw attention to their argument. "Maybe because we spent the entire evening insulting each other and then had mind-blowing sex."

That elicits a smirk from Jack. "Glad I blew you mind, cheerleader," she quips casually.

"Really?" She can't believe Jack is going to blow her off like this. "Is that all you have to say? Like you weren't moaning just as loudly when I was in you? Like you didn't bite my shoulder so hard when you came that I still have the mark this morning?"

"So you're good. What's your fucking point? It's not like you're useful for much else."

Miranda stands from the table, enraged. She's yelling now, but she can't stand it anymore, the infuriating smugness along with the feigned indifference. "All I'm good for? Me? You fucking hypocritical piece of trash! We should have left you in that freezer to rot for all the use you are!"

Jack rises as well, a corona of biotic energy flaring around her. For a moment, Miranda thinks she's about to hurl the entire breakfast setting at her, but when Jack sees the rest of the room looking at them, she lets the field go and just growls, "Screw you," before stalking off in the other direction.

"Good answer, Jack," Miranda sneers before striding angrily out of the mess hall.

Out of sight of the crowd, the operative sighs to herself. For years she told herself that people were rotten and relationships were for fools. As with many things, she's softened on that point. After all, Shepard is no one's fool and how could anyone look at her and Liara together and not recognize that they have something special?

But that's a theoretical perspective. In practice, Miranda has had no more romantic success since the war then before it, and now, this is the connection she makes. Just my luck, she thinks bitterly. Shepard gets a brilliant, devoted asari scientist and I wind up with a tattooed psychotic. It may be a shame that their obvious sexual chemistry is going to waste, but after that little display, it's clear to her that there's no alternative.


	3. Every Step of the Way

**This is set in-between chapters 8 and 9, after Shepard and Liara have come back to the _Normandy_, but before their vacation.**

* * *

_The Normandy is burning. Stem to stern, the only home she has left is consumed in fire and all Liara can do is run. Her mouth fills with the taste of ashes and she stumbles, coughing, eyes blinded by the smoke, into the escape pod._

"_Shepard!" As the door slides closed behind her, she rubs her eyes, frantically looking around the capsule for her lover. She's supposed to be here, waiting for Liara, but inside there's only emptiness, a vast, impossibly large blackness where someone, anyone else should be. She screams, trying to open the pod door, but it has sealed itself behind her, the metal cold and unmoving in spite of her desperate pulls on the handle. _

_Through the small widow, she can see an armored figure running around the corner, wreathed in flames. As she approaches the door, she tears off her helmet, and beneath it is Ashara Shepard, her beautiful features caked with soot, her green eyes wide with terror._

"_Liara!", she begs, her fists beating against the airlock. "Let me in!"_

"_I can't!" The asari sees the controls for the electronic override, but her fumbling efforts make no impact on the uncaring mechanism. She knows the code, somewhere in the back of her panicked mind, but the numbers won't come. All her knowledge, all her years of schooling and she can't recall the six simple digits that would save Ashara's life._

_Behind her, she can hear the horrid screams of the Reapers, waiting for her somewhere in that indefinable blackness, but all she can see is the fire making it's way up the armor, engulfing the woman she loves. Ashara slumps to her knees as the flesh begins to melt off of her body, her hands falling helplessly to the deck of the ship, her mouth open to scream, but no sound coming out as the smoke fills her lungs…_

"Ashara!" Liara wakes up screaming her bondmate's name, beads of sweat covering her naked body. She looks frantically across the bed, but there's no one there. She's alone.

And then she feels a protective arm wrapping around her waist and a strong voice reassuring her, "It's okay, Liara. I'm here."

"Ashara." Her repetition of the name is softer as she rolls over, seeing Shepard's loving face looking at her, her eyes narrowed with concern. "You are… you are all right."

It's a question and a statement all wrapped into one and the Spectre pulls her tight against her body. "I am. I'm here," she repeats. Liara nuzzles her head into Shepard's chest. She's so solid, her strong arms, her firm breasts, and her warm skin all reminding Liara of her reality, and the asari feels her breathing gradually returning to normal.

Ashara's hand strokes her back, soothing her frazzled nerves, but a wave of guilt suddenly washes over Liara. She's not the only one with bad dreams. "I'm sorry for waking you," she apologizes. "You were getting a decent night's sleep for once and I have ruined it."

"Hey, don't say that. You're here for me, I'm here for you."

A tear runs down her cheek. "Not always. Goddess, Shepard, I left you and you almost…" She can't even bring herself to say the words. When she heard that Shepard was alive and injured back in the Sol System, it made her strong. She had held herself together because Ashara needed her to make it back, but now all she can think about sometimes is how close she came to losing the love of her life.

"I know. I almost died."

It doesn't sound quite as terrible to hear Ashara say it, because at least it means she's still alive, but her walls are down now and she sobs softly into her bondmate's shoulder. "And I was not there. I should have been there."

Shepard leans down and catches Liara's mouth with her soft lips. The asari can feel the love and concern in the way she holds the kiss, pressing her close and letting it last as long as Liara needs.

When at last the information broker pulls back, Shepard brings her hand to rest gently on her crest. "Liara, will you meld with me? I want to show you something."

"Of course, Shepard. But what is it?"

Ashara takes a deep breath. "The Citadel."

"Are you certain?" The last time she got close to those memories, after she first got Shepard back, the Spectre had pulled away. "You told me what happened to you there, but that is not the same as reliving it."

"I realize that, but I think this will help."

"Ashara, if this is going to hurt you, I won't do it."

The human's hand slips down to grasp Liara's blue one. "I don't need the meld to see those moments."

"Very well." Liara's eyes go black and she feels Ashara's overwhelming love envelop her. There is some fear there, the events hard for her to think about, but there's strength along with it, the determination that won the war standing like steel in her thoughts. "Focus on that day," Liara whispers to Shepard and the commander's cabin aboard the _Normandy_ melts away, replaced with the shattered remains of London, the sky filled with light, the ground with rubble.

_Ashara is pulling herself to her feet, her frame bloody, the shattered remains of her armor lying on the ground behind her. As she picks up a discarded pistol, she can hear distant voices over some still-functioning comm unit informing her there's no one left alive, calling on the remains of Hammer to pull back. It's up to her then, same as it always is…_

_Weakness permeates her body, every step forward an agonizing strain. Her arms feel like they weigh a thousand pounds, but she makes herself lift the pistol… Firing into the Husks, she breathes a labored sigh of relief, watching them fall only seconds before their clawed hands reach her…. The lance of pain shooting through her shoulder when the Marauder's bullet impacts it. Fighting down the fear, her shaking hand somehow holds the gun steady through the jerks as it fires, killing the twisted turian an instant before it can kill her…_

Liara gasps and her hand squeezes tighter around Ashara's. She's been wounded many times in battle, but she's never felt anything like this. "Goddess, Shepard. How did you keep going? The pain you were in…"

"Go deeper." Shepard voice is reassuring, a reminder that that is just a memory. "Let me show you." Taking a breath, Liara plunges back into the past, strengthening the meld as she does.

_Ashara is on the Citadel now, the station a slaughterhouse. Mangled corpses lie everywhere, the sight and the stench almost enough to overwhelm her senses in her weakened state. Just keeping walking, she tells herself, you can do this. You have to do this, have to make the Reapers pay for this abomination._

_Can she, though? She used to think she could do anything, meet any challenge, overcome any foe, but she's failed so many people. Kaiden, Mordin, Thane, Legion: all dead because she couldn't save them. Half the galaxy is burning because she couldn't stop it. Who has she really helped? Who has she saved?_

_Liara. She saved Liara on Therum, saved her on Mars, and now, her bondmate needs Ashara to save her one more time. And it's not just her. Ashley, Garrus, Tali, the rest of the galaxy isn't lost yet. They don't care how many people she's let down. They need her to finish this for them. She takes a step forward and then another. Anderson has to be close by and she's going to make it to him, no matter the hurt._

"That's how I did it," Shepard whispers across the bond.

_She raises her gun, pointing it at the power conduit. She should be dead on her feet, the strength drained from her body like the blood coating the front of her uniform shirt, but she's not. She's calm, determined. Becoming a machine, controlling the Reapers, transforming the whole galaxy into god knows what, she has no right to do those things. This, right here, is it, the only thing she can do: destroy the Reapers and end the war. The pistol recoils, heavy in her hand, over and over, but she doesn't flinch. The sparks fly, the energy builds, and then the fire washes over her. The last thing she sees before the darkness overtakes her is Liara, smiling down at her. Whatever happens to Shepard, at least her bondmate will be safe._

Liara shivers beneath the sheets, feeling like the temperature has dropped twenty degrees. Shepard's chest is clammy, and Liara can feel the Spectre's heart pounding in her chest, but her lover keeps her close. "Just a little more, Liara," she assures her. "There's one more thing you need to see."

_It's finished now. Shepard's done everything they've ever wanted her to, and surely it's not too much to ask to lie down and rest. She can see the ghosts all around her, everyone she's lost, telling her it's okay, that she made it. Her eyes are so heavy, lidded and weary, and as they begin to close, it seems for an instant that there would be nothing sweeter than to just fall asleep. But then she sees her. Liara is standing there in the mist, her voice soft and loving, asking her to come back, and she knows it's not over yet. Not for her. It can't be._

The meld fades away and Liara is back in their bed, her pulse racing. "You see," her bondmate whispers lovingly, "You never left me. You were there every step of the way."

"Ashara." She struggles to find her words. "Thank you."

"Anything for you."

Her smile is filled with gratitude. "It meant a great deal to me to see that." She can feel the cold sweat on Ashara's skin though and there was a slight tremor in her voice when she spoke before. "What about you? Are you all right, love?"

"Yeah." Shepard pauses. "A little shaken maybe."

Liara kisses her lips, her cheeks, her forehead, trying to show her how much she appreciates her lover's willingness to do this for her. "You have always been so good to me."

"You have too, Liara. From the day we first met."

"Then let me show you something as well." Shepard smiles in agreement and Liara lets her mind join once more with her bondmate's, drawing her into the asari's own memories.

_It's over. They're alive. Standing together on the bridge of the Normandy, those two facts seem to overwhelm the silent crew. Where they are now, how they're going to get back home, those problems can wait for another time. Right now, they're just lost in a victory that hardly seemed possible until it actually happened._

"_Goddamn it, she did it She really did it." It's Ashley who first breaks the awed quiet, her voice filled with wonder._

"_Did you ever doubt it?" Tali has her arm around Garrus, no longer bothering to hide their relationship. "Million year old doom machines are no match for Commander Shepard."_

"_What are we going to do now?" Samantha Traynor is running her fingers through her dark hair, seemingly unable to believe this is real. "I mean, we have our whole lives to look forward to now."_

_Vega grins. "I don't know about the rest of our lives, but right now, I'm having a drink."_

_Garrus laughs "I can second that." He pauses, looking over at her. "Liara, are you okay?"_

_ The asari stands there looking at everyone else, taking in their joy and relief. She wishes she knew that Shepard was all right, but right now, all she can feel is an overwhelming sense of pride in most remarkable bondmate that she can imagine. _

Liara brushes her fingers lightly over Shepard's lips as the meld recedes. "You really are," she says softly. "I know there are things you regret, people that you did not save, but remember that you made that moment possible." She leans in and kisses Ashara tenderly, and as Shepard relaxes into her arms, Liara adds brightly, "And all the ones we have to come."


	4. Ding!

Ding! On some level, Miranda has always known that Jack was going to drive her crazy. Still, she never would have guessed that it was this simple sound that would push her over the edge. "In a minute, Jack!", she snaps, trying to finish up some late-night paperwork before she sees what her lover wants this time.

Ding! Of course Jack's not going to be patient. Ever since the _Normandy_ dropped the two of them off at Grissom Academy, Miranda's been the one looking after her. Given that the leviathan partially crushed Jack's ribs, she's not supposed to talk too much or speak above a whisper, so Miranda synched their omni-tools to allow her to ring if she needs anything.

That had been a mistake. All Miranda wants is for Jack to avoid undue strain and look to her recovery, but the biotic insists on fighting her every step of the way. Every suggestion, every instruction Miranda gives leads to another argument, and meanwhile Jack is using the buzzer less as a call for help and more as a way to annoy her.

Ding! "Fine, Jack. I'm coming." Walking into the bedroom, Miranda finds the ex-convict lying in bed in a black tank-top and grey gym shorts holding up an empty beer bottle.

"Really?" She shakes her head disapprovingly.

Jack smirks at her. "Refill," she whispers.

"That's your recovery plan? Alcohol?" The smirk turns into a smile. Irritating as she may be, there's something endearing about the way Jack looks her at with those big brown eyes. In the old days, when Miranda had hated her, she'd never noticed how pretty they are. "How about a glass of milk?", she suggests. Jack snorts but nods, and Miranda leaves to fetch it.

Returning with the drink, she hands it to Jack only to get a smack on the ass in return. "For God's sake, Jack," she sighs as the ex-convict swigs it down. "Do you really think that is an appropriate…"

"Sure." Miranda's words are cut off as Jack begins running her hand up and down her leg, caressing her through the wool of her Alliance uniform pants, making her way dangerously far up her thigh.

"Jack, you are not well enough for this. What do you think, that I'm going to fuck you until a lung collapses?" She pulls away, ignoring Jack's devilish expression. "If you are going to keep acting this way, I think it would be better if I slept on the couch."

* * *

She leaves the room, Jack's raspy hiss of laughter further jangling her frayed nerves. Reaching the living room, Miranda sinks down on the small sofa there with an exasperated moan. She really doesn't know what's wrong with Jack. They had been making so much progress. Their visit up until Shepard's call had been going very well, to say nothing of their night before the battle. So why won't Jack let her take proper care of her? Why has she been treating Miranda like a cross between a maid and a prostitute? She feels like they've regressed right back to where they were at the beginning of this… well, Miranda had thought it was a relationship.

It certainly is for her. It had started as just sex, an erotic connection she couldn't deny even as she'd hated it. Then it was a way to fight a loneliness she was tired of living with. Now though, it's more. She genuinely cares about the tattooed biotic, and she could swear the woman cares about her too. So why is she acting this way?

Unable to fall asleep, she calculates the time differential with Thessia. Nine at night; not too late. She hates asking for help, but unlike molecular biology or advanced field technology, this is something well outside her area of expertise, so it's time to call the only close friend she has that's in a functional relationship.

* * *

When Shepard answers her call, she's on her omni-tool, wearing a pair of black pajamas. "Shepard. Did I call at a bad time?"

"Nah, don't worry about it. I already put Moira to bed and Liara's catching up on intel that backed up during the mission. I'm just working on my model ships." She grins, examining something Miranda can't see. "Some of them require assembly."

In spite of her frustration, Miranda smiles back. There was always something a bit odd about the great Commander Shepard's interest in toy ships but the woman seems so content just then that it's hard for Miranda, in her agitated state, not to envy her. "Very well. I am calling about Jack."

In an instant, Miranda can see the relaxed woman vanish behind the concerned commander. "Is she all right?"

"Physically, yes. Her recovery is going as well as can be expected under the circumstances. It is more of a personal problem."

Shepard expression eases. "Sure. What can I do for you?"

"It is just…" She finds she's having a hard time putting it into words. "Ever since we got back to Grissom Academy, she has been insufferable. She refuses to take proper care of herself and instead she pretends that there is nothing wrong with her body. Drinking, pestering me for sex she is not well enough to have…" She doesn't exactly mean to be so personal, but all of her frustrations seem to be pouring out of her.

Shepard laughs and Miranda snaps, "It is not funny, Shepard. I thought that she and I had progressed past this point in our relationship."

"Sorry, Miranda, I know it's frustrating. It's just, picturing Jack as a difficult patient isn't much of a stretch."

The operative shakes her head. "I imagine it's more amusing if you're a few relay jumps away."

"That's fair enough." The former Spectre turns serious again. "Listen Miranda, I know Jack pretty well, and I've been where she is. It's not easy for a tough girl like her to feel vulnerable. It certainly wasn't for me. After the war, I couldn't get off that hospital ship fast enough, regardless of my condition, and I threw myself back into the relief work even though I still wasn't 100%, especially mentally. Liara had to push me into taking that vacation before I could admit I needed it."

Miranda listens respectfully, but when Shepard finishes, the operative makes a dismissive gesture with her hand. "I appreciate you're trying to make me feel better, but I was there with you two after you woke up. You did not treat Liara this way."

"No, but everyone reacts differently in these situations. Jack is still new to the concept of a relationship, especially with someone she has such a complicated history with. Trust me, when we were on this last mission, I watched you two together and you really are important to her. You just have to find a way to reach past whatever nonsense she's pulling and get her to remember that."

"I hope that it's that easy."

"I never said it would be easy." Ashara chuckles good-naturedly. "But I've seen how determined you can be when you put your mind to something."

"I suppose I cannot claim I didn't know what I was getting myself into. Thank you, Shepard."

Ending the call, Miranda makes her way from the comm room back towards Jack's quarters. Shepard is probably right about what her lover is feeling but that alone doesn't tell the operative how to get through to her.

She tries to put herself in Jack's shoes; Shepard isn't the only other person unused to feeling vulnerable. Her mind goes back to the day she asked the commander to help rescue her sister from her father's men. Shepard had been so effective at putting her at ease. She was good at that, at getting people like her and Jack, to saying nothing of krogan bounty hunters, asari justicars, and even a damn geth to trust her. How did she do it? How did she get through to a cold, nearly paranoid woman like Miranda?

It comes to Miranda like a bolt out of the blue, the sudden knowledge of what she has to do. It's not what she inclines towards and it's not what she's good at, but it's what Jack needs right now.

* * *

The next morning when Jack wakes up, she turns on her omni-tool to ding Miranda, but before she can, the operative walks in the bedroom, a smile on her lovely face. She's carrying a tray with breakfast from the mess hall: bagels, fruit, and juice. "Uh, thanks," Jack whispers, taking the platter and digging in.

"Not a problem, Jack. I'm sure that you would do the same in my place." Miranda climbs into the bed next to her and nestles her head against Jack's hip while she eats. It wasn't what Jack expected. Every since she got hurt, Miranda's been treating her like a fucking child. She runs her free hand through the dark, silky tresses of Miranda's hair. God, she may be an uptight pain in the ass sometimes, but she does feel good, and when Jack finishes off breakfast, her hand begins to work downward, unbuttoning the top of Miranda's blouse and caressing the edges of her impressive tits.

The operative sets the tray aside and leans up to kiss Jack. "Still feeling frisky I see." Jack braces herself for another reprimand but instead Miranda unbuttons her shirt the rest of the way, exposing her bra-clad breasts. "Well, I know you're not ready for anything too strenuous yet, but if you're feeling well enough for a bit of fun, I could be open to it."

Jack grins, trying to look pleased with herself for having worn Miranda's resistance down, but she's suddenly a little unsure. She wants this, right? With a flicker of her biotics, she opens the bra clap and tosses the black, lacy garment away. She runs her fingers over a plump breast, teasing the pink nipple towards hardness. Miranda sighs with pleasure and Jack leans over, taking it in her mouth. Her teeth press down, nipping at the breast and Miranda's hand grips the back of her head, a throaty sound escaping her lips. Jack smiles around the nipple, and when her hand reaches down and grabs a handful of her lover's fantastic ass, the operative's moans grow louder. Jack feels her own body start to respond, her nipples hardening under her t-shirt, her breathing growing sharper…

Fuck! A lance of pain shoots through her as her excited lungs press against her damaged ribs and she pulls away. She grimaces, not just from the discomfort but from the lecture she knows is coming. The fucking cheerleader was right. She's not up for this. She's been insisting she was okay, trying to convince Miranda, and now that she's been proven wrong, she feels more exposed than ever.

Rather than chastening her though, Miranda just runs her hands through Jack's short brown hair, kissing her with a rare tenderness. "It's okay, honey. It's nice to know you want to though." Miranda lays her head in Jack's lap. "I'm happy just to be here with you."

And just like that, the biotic feels the tension start to ebb from her body. She doesn't have to prove anything to Miranda, doesn't have to show her that she can still hold her own. Right now, she can just be here with the woman she… fuck it, the woman she loves. Draping her arms down across Miranda's bare chest, she whispers, "Glad you're here too."

* * *

**I had the hardest time getting this chapter, set immediately after the end of Where They Travelled, right. Thanks to AmityN7, who helped a lot with both this and the previous Jack and Miranda chapter. Go read her stuff; it's very good, especially her recent NaNo project, The Veiled Asari. Also, if you're so inclined, you can check out my other recent stories set in the 4****th**** Life-verse, "A Thessian Christmas" with Shepard and Liara, and "The Battle for Omega," just starting up with Garrus, Samara, Aria, Kelly, and lots of big plot developments. Thanks for reading and happy holidays to all.**


	5. Family Bonding

Every time she walks through the arched doorway and sees the Thessian sun coming in through the picture windows in the hall, it takes a second for her to remember that it's not her house anymore. Sure, Shepard and her kid have redecorated and even remodeled parts of it, but there's enough that's the same to remind Matriarch Aethyta where she is. To remind her that this was the last place she was happy and where a hundred years of misery started.

For someone who used to be a recluse, Liara's surprisingly perceptive. "Are you all right, Father?"

Aethyta shakes off the cobwebs of memory and deflects the question. "I'm fine, kid. What about you? Pregnancy and all?"

"Well enough. Some occasional dizziness, but the doctor said that is to be expected."

"I've been there. It passes by the third phase." She considers making a quip about Shepard's absence while Liara is knocked up but thinks better of it. When Liara had first suggested she stay with her for a few days while her bondmate was tracking down Kelly Chambers, she had joked about Shepard chasing tail and nearly gotten her head bitten off for her trouble. Her daughter had assured her that Shepard was only looking after a member of her crew, and what right did Aethyta have to imply otherwise? The kid has a point; she barely knows either of them, and if she wants to change that, she'll have to watch what she says. Not exactly her forte.

Liara pours them a couple of glasses of some sour human drink called orange juice and reclines on the couch while Aethyta takes a seat in a red armchair nearby. Her daughter isn't showing yet, not as far along as Benezia was when Aethyta walked out the door of this house for what she thought would be the last time.

"You are distracted again."

"I guess so. It's seeing you like this. Makes me think of your mom being pregnant with you. I wish I'd been there for more of it."

Liara sips her juice, regarding her coolly. Her daughter still holds her at arm's length, uncertain if she can count on her. She probably wouldn't feel any differently in Liara's place. "Why were you not? Every time I have heard you speak of my mother, it has been with affection. What caused you to abandon us?"

Aethyta downs the rest of her own drink, wishing it was something stronger. "I wouldn't say I abandoned you, exactly. It was your mom's choice at least as much as mine."

The wariness is still there. "Perhaps you should explain what you mean by that."

The old asari takes a deep breath. She's not exactly proud of her part in this tale but if she wants to repair things with Liara, she's gonna have to fess up to her mistakes. "All right. You want the story? I guess you deserve it." She leans back into the softness of the chair, remembering. "Your mom and I, we were in love for a long time. You might not think it to look at us, but we had a lot in common. When people get old, they can get set in their ways, and Thessia's run by some pretty fucking old chicks."

She chuckles at the irony of that statement, given her own age, before continuing. "We wanted to shake things up, to get the asari to stop being so damn smug about their own imagined superiority. We were both so passionate." She pauses, a grin passing over her dark blue face. "About that, and other things too…"

Liara shudders a little. "I think we can skip over that part of the story."

"If you say so. Anyway, it took a long time to get to a place where people would listen to us. Benezia was the front, the one that most people knew, but I was the muscle. I never had her charm, but I knew how to twist the arms that needed twisting behind the scenes. We made a great team. At least for a while."

"What changed?"

"Success. How's that for a kick in the fucking quad? We started to get what we wanted, and it ruined us. As the politician, Nezzie was the one that reaped the rewards of fame. One day I looked up and there were all these acolytes hanging off of her every word, kissing her ass." She raises her voice a couple of octaves. "You're so wise Matriarch Benezia. Whatever you need, Matriarch Benezia. Let me suck on your crest, Matriarch Benezia."

Her daughter blushes and Aethyta laughs bitterly. She's glad Shepard at least doesn't seem to have cultivated those kinds of ass-kissers. "At first, I tried not to make too much of it. I told myself that they were a bunch of smitten maidens and I was the one who knew her, who knew what she really wanted. But it got hard, and after a while, it wasn't just kids that I was getting jealous of. We were dealing with powerful people, other asari, aliens, whatever, and I saw the way she was with them. The outfits she wore. The way she'd let her hand linger on theirs, all of that shit. It got to me. I started wondering what she did with them when I wasn't around, and once it got in my head, I couldn't get it out."

"Was that really what was going on?", Liara asks tentatively, clearly apprehensive of her answer but too much the curious information broker to let it drop. "Was she with other people when you two were still together?"

"Fucked if I know. Even when we joined, she was pretty good at blocking off the parts of her mind she didn't want me to see. She definitely could tell what I thought though, and it didn't make things go any smoother. The meld can be a beautiful thing when you're in love, but when shit is falling apart, it can really make things worse. You feel everything that's wrong, everything that's pissing you off…"

…_Nezzie is naked and bent over the kitchen table, Aethyta's fingers delving into her, when the words, "Is this how you let those turians do it to you?," thrust into their shared thoughts. Benezia spun her around with her biotics, shoving her against the wall, pushing her leg between Aethyta's thighs. "How dare you?!" Rolling on the floor, lust, anger, and aggression all flowing into each other, the sex was as much wrestling as fucking, ending in a climax that left more frustration than satisfaction in its wake…_

The memory leaves her sad and horny all at once and she could really use a harder drink than juice. "You got any booze around here, kid?"

"Considering my condition I have been abstaining, but there should be a few beers in the refrigerator."

Aethyta pulls herself up, clearing her head of those days as she walks to the kitchen. Finding some kind of human beer there, she pulls off the cap and has a swig. Shepard's got decent taste and she takes another pull while she heads back to the living room.

"Was that what happened, then?", Liara asks when Aethyta is settled back down on the couch. "Jealousy?"

"Partly, I guess. It wasn't just about the sex, though. As much as Nezzie and I had in common, there had always been differences. She was more of a diplomat, and I wanted to focus on new technology and military strength." She sips at her beer. "Thought we'd get more respect if we didn't get the turians to do our fighting for us. Early on, we used to compromise, best of both worlds and all that shit. Later, though, her and all those fucking sycophants of hers started ignoring my arguments and I was a real bitch about it."

Liara cracks a smile at last. "I can hardly believe that about you."

"Don't be a wise-ass." She pauses before smiling. "That's my job. Anyone, we started fighting, and then we started fighting in public. Made us look like a couple of fucking idiots."

"Why did you do it then?" Liara's tone becomes accusatory all of a sudden, a dark thought having occurred to her. "Why did you decide to have a daughter together if you were falling apart?"

"Because I loved her!", Aethyta snaps before her voice becomes softer. "And she loved me. It had been a hundred fucking years, and most of them were great. We didn't think straight. We should've known having a kid wasn't the way to fix things, but neither of us could admit that maybe they couldn't be fixed."

"So I was a mistake?" There's hurt in her daughter's big, blue eyes and Aethyta feels even worse about herself.

"No, you weren't. Your mom, she wanted you whatever happened with us. She had such plans for you." She laughs. "You were going to follow her into politics, carry on her work."

Liara brightens. "I know. It was such a disappointment to her when I went into archeology instead."

"Course then you became the most famous asari in the galaxy AND the Shadow Broker. Nezzie would have been so proud."

Liara's smile broadens. "I would like to think so."

"I'm sure of it." Aethyta runs a hand across her crest. She certainly is, even if it's hard for her to show it. "So do you want to know how it ended?"

Liara's voice is steady. "I would."

"It was right here actually. She was meeting with some salarian politician, hell if I can even remember his name, negotiating about the fuck if it even matters. I butted in, disagreed with her about some bullshit point, we started yelling, he took off, then we yelled more about that. She told me that I was a liability. That it was hard enough with her being bonded to another asari, but that this was ruining her career." Her voice gets quieter. "And then she said that I'd ruin you too. That if I wanted her daughter to have a real future, I should stay away."

She finishes off the beer and sets the empty bottle down as Liara sits up, her expression sympathetic. "I am sorry. She should not have…"

"Thanks, kid, but I don't want your pity." Liara looks hurt and she clarifies. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant, I did enough pitying myself for the both of us. After I left, I tried to strike out on my own. I had this plan to build new Mass Relays, but the other Matriarchs just laughed at me. That was when I pretty much started letting my life fall apart. Moved to Illium, drank too much, worked shitty jobs, did a lot of things neither of us wants to talk about, and generally wasted the next century of my life."

_She was sitting in a bar when the news got announced on the vid feed that the famous Matriarch Benezia had given birth to a daughter named Liara T'Soni. A daughter Aethyta might never get to see, no matter how much she wanted to. When she woke up the next morning next to a turian woman who's name she didn't even know with claw marks on her ass and a hangover that could stagger a krogan warlord, she wasn't sure who she hated more, herself or her former bondmate._

"After a while, I started to believe that Nezzie had been right, that I'd be no good for you. It wasn't until after she died that I started to pull my head out of my ass."

"I am glad that you did," Liara says kindly. "I know that we have not always gotten along, but I still want you to be a part of my life."

"And your daughter's life?", Aethyta asks cautiously.

"I would like that as well." Liara runs a hand over her stomach. "Benezia was wrong. I think that there is a lot that she can learn from you." She laughs a little. "As long as it is not your extensive repertoire of obscenities."

"If you're gonna be such a prude…" Aethyta snorts. "Nah, I can manage that." She's already thrown away one chance with her daughter; she's not going to make it two.

* * *

**This is set around the same time as chapter 23 of 4****th**** Life.**


	6. Good News

"Sam, you can play with that thing as much as you want, you're not going to make it come any faster."

With an exasperated sigh, Samantha Traynor stands up from the console she's been staring at. "I know, I know. But it's such a big deal." Nelia laughs, the high melody ringing through the empty office. Their employees have gone home, but with the decision on their proposal scheduled to arrive from Palaven at around midnight Ilium time, Sam and her business partner aren't going anywhere. "What's so funny?"

"Just you, Specialist Traynor. You were on the _Normandy_ fighting Reapers alongside Commander Shepard and here you are stressing out about a telecommunications contract."

Samantha slumps down into a chair next to the asari. "It's not exactly life and death," she concedes. "But it's really important to our company. I mean, if we don't get this…"

"Then we'll figure something else out." Nelia rubs Sam's shoulder and the human feels a fluttering in her stomach. She's been finding it harder and harder to ignore her attraction to the enthusiastic asari, but she's not sure whether she should say anything about it.

"You're right. I'm sure things will work out somehow." She certainly hopes so. Her whole life, she's worked for other people: as a research assistant to her professors in college, for the Alliance, for Shepard, for Stellar Integration, and she really wants to make a success of her first time being the one in charge.

She's snapped out of her reverie by the beeping of the console, the "new message received" sound causing her to dash out of her chair and over to the machine, only to read that, "Samantha Traynor, you have been randomly selected to win a free cruise on the luxurious Athame's Dream…" She curses quietly. Stupid spam programs keep getting better at evading her filters. She really needs to upgrade.

"Sorry, Nel, it was just…"

Beep! She clicks on the new message icon that appears on the screen. "Dear Ms. Traynor, on behalf of Attian Systems, I am pleased to inform you that your bid to provide communications services for our corporation's branch office on Illium has been accepted."

There's more to the message, but it's lost in a whoop of triumph. "We got it, Nel! We got it!"

The asari runs across the room, throwing her arms around Samantha. "Goddess, that's wonderful. And you," she beams, "Are a genius."

Sam doesn't mean to kiss her. Honest, she doesn't. One second she's trying to come up with a compliment to give back, and the next, their mouths are just moving together, caught up in the excitement of the moment. She definitely doesn't mean to open up the kiss, to slip her tongue past those so-soft lips, to taste Nelia, sweet, like those Fasi berries she loves to eat, and oh god, this is so inappropriate.

Sam pulls back, mortified at her own behavior. "I'm so sorry. I didn't, I mean I shouldn't have, I mean…"

The second one she definitely doesn't start. This time it's Nelia reaching out, silencing her babbling with a long, slow kiss, her tongue darting into Sam's shocked mouth, her hand tangling in her short, black hair, pulling her closer. "Don't apologize," she purrs, her breath hot over Sam's ear. "I've been waiting for you to do this."

Sam shakes her head, thinking clearly becoming very difficult with Nel's tongue tracing along the outside of her ear. "Hold up a second." The asari backs off, but only slightly, the heat of her body highly distracting. "Why were you waiting for me? Wasn't I here, available?"

"It might have seemed that way on the surface," she smiles, and damn, she has such a pretty smile, "But I think maybe you've been hung up on somebody else. Somebody from the _Normandy_ perhaps?"

"No, I wasn't," she denies, perhaps a bit too quickly, before pausing to think. She'd never slept with anyone on the ship, but maybe Nel isn't totally wrong. There'd been so many amazing people there, some of them female people… Okay, she'd had some crushes. Shepard, sure, like half of everybody else, and Liara was so cute with her, and Ashley, even though she was totally straight, and EDI's body might have been metal, but she had that voice, and… She takes a deep breath and kisses Nelia on the lips again, softer and slower this time. "It's in the past. I want you now."

The asari's hands start running over her blue shirt. "And that's why I waited for you to kiss me first."

"I appreciate your patience." Sam traces her fingers over the smooth skin of Nelia's crest. It's not quite like anything she's ever felt before and she can't stop herself from exploring all the little textures she finds, gliding over scales and tips.

Nelia sighs happily at first, and then laughs. "Having fun?"

Sam blushes. "Sorry, I'm usually much smoother than this."

"You're doing fine." Nelia's slim, teal fingers start to run underneath the swell of her breasts and Sam moans, but when the asari starts to unbutton her blouse, she stops her.

"Wait. Not here."

"Why not?" Nelia's tongue runs up her neck. "It's not like we're going to get in trouble for doing it in the office. It's our company, silly."

"I know." It's hard to breath normally let alone make coherent arguments right now, but she forces herself to try. "I really like you, Nel. I don't want our first time to be a quickie on the conference table. I want a big bed where we can take our time and where," she adds hesitantly, "You can stay the night if you want."

With a final kiss on her earlobe, the asari pulls away. "Deal. I like you too, Sam. Just one condition though: we're taking a cab. I intended to distract you all the way back to your apartment."

* * *

No sooner does the taxi door close behind them when Nelia starts making good on her promise, running her hand up and down Sam's leg. "340 Spearbird Street," the human gasps out as nimble fingers start to move perilously far above her knee.

"Uh, sure," the purple-skinned asari driving the cab acknowledges before looking in the rear-view mirror, drawn by the chocked sound of Sam's voice. Nel's hand darts back off her leg, but as soon as the driver returns her gaze to the sky-way, it starts caressing her again. Her business partner leans over to give her a kiss, but when her fingers make their way further up her thigh, she starts suspecting it's just a convenient way to muffle her cries. Sam moans softly into Nel's mouth, and when a finger presses against her through her underwear, it almost becomes a scream.

Feeling Sam's lust spike, Nelia backs off, leaving the human panting. "You play dirty," the human whispers raggedly.

"You have no idea." The driver flashes them a disapproving glare and Nel returns her that playful smile she has, the one that helped convince her to leave a nice, safe job at Stellar Integration and start their own company together. "We'll be good," Nel promises, and the driver shakes her head, muttering something about horny maidens.

* * *

Good turns out to mean touching Sam just enough to keep her on the edge of madness without pushing her over, and by the time the cab lands in front of their building, the human feels about 10 seconds from exploding from the tightly-coiled lust trying to burst out of her.

Making sure to leave a generous tip, Sam practically pulls her partner out of the cab and through the entrance to her building. The elevator can't come fast enough, and as it's doors open, she grabs the asari's head and pulls her into it, pressing her tongue into her mouth. "Bloody hell," she growls when she breaks the kiss, her earlier uncertainly overwhelmed by desire, "What were you trying to do to me?"

Nel parries the verbal stroke deftly. "You were the one who wanted to come back here. I got impatient."

Under the circumstances, Sam can't stay mad. Her hand cups a breast through the silky fabric of Nel's green blouse. The asari bites her lip and Sam grins at the reaction. "Now I'm impatient too."

Her fingers start unbuttoning the irritating garment and by the time the elevator opens on her floor, the lacy white bra beneath it is tantalizingly visible. Thankfully, there's no one else in the hallway, and as they drag each other into Sam's apartment, the lights flicker on automatically.

Normally, she'd be ashamed of the mess on the floor, housekeeping having fallen by the wayside as she tried to finish their proposal, but right now, she couldn't give less of a damn. Sam pulls Nelia's shirt open the rest of the way before unhooking her bra. She's seen plenty of naked asari on the extranet, but this is first time she's gotten the chance up close and personal. Nel's breasts are a little bit scaled and so soft to Sam's touch, and when her eager palms cup them, the nipples are already hard little points pressing against her skin.

Nel's back arches and she tilts her head, exposing her long neck for Sam to kiss. As the asari's knees start to buckle beneath her, the former Alliance Specialist reluctantly pulls one hand off of her breast, wrapping it around her crest. This time there's no tentative exploration, her fingers enthusiastically massaging the folds. Nelia moans into her ear and Sam feels a need building between her legs. She really wants to make a good impression here and the response she's eliciting is seriously turning her on.

When she slides her other hand up Nelia's skirt, the skin along the asari's inner thigh is somehow even smoother than the rest of her body, but when she brushes against lacy silk panties, she pauses. "Wait, were you planning this all along, or do you always wear these?"

The asari takes advantage of the pause in her attentions to start unbuttoning Sam's shirt. "I might have hoped we'd have some good news to celebrate."

Samantha puts on a little pout. "So I was just a pawn in your little game of seduction?"

"Do you mind?", Nel asks with a grin as she unhooks Sam's black bra.

"Not at…" Her words are stopped in their tracks as the asari takes a pert, tan breast in her mouth. She has the most remarkably agile tongue and as it traces little circles over her brown nipple, Sam feels her need for more overwhelming her. Her hand pushes aside the damp silk and beneath it she finds the prominent head of Nel's clit with no trouble.

"That's almost too easy," she laughs, amused by the lack of challenge compared with a human woman, but Nelia doesn't seem to be sympathizing with her competitive nature, instead clutching her shoulders and pressing her lips against her neck. Two fingers slide inside the asari's soaked sex while her palm rubs the clit and when Nelia bites down, Sam can't bring herself to care about the mark it's going to leave.

She caresses the inner walls, feeling them throb around her, and when Nel looks up at her, her pretty green eyes are turning black. It's a little disconcerting, but then there's a pressing against her mind, and she forgets all about what she's seeing. "Oh! Oh hell!", is all she can manage, her confidence vanishing in the face of this unexpected sensation.

"It's okay." Nel cups her cheek in her hand. "Relax and embrace eternity."

Samantha takes a deep breath and does her best to let down her barriers. What comes next is like nothing she's ever experienced before. She can still feel Nel wet and tight around her hand, but at the same time, it's almost as if the fingers are inside her, stretching her as well.

Alongside the physical sensations, she can sense another voice in her head. It's like the one that tells you not to spend so many credits on that loofah or that that was a great Kepesh-Yakshi move, but it's not hers, it's Nel's.

"You okay, cutie?", her new lover asks affectionately, obviously more accustomed to this than she is.

"Yeah," she replies, realizing that as soon as she thinks the words, the asari can hear them. "It's just, I've never done this before, I mean the thing with your mind, not the thing with my fingers, and it's really incredible, and now I see why Shepard liked being with Liara quite so much, and oh, god, did I just talk about them while we're…"

"Breath, Sam." She can feel comfort and reassurance radiating from Nel. "It's normal to have stray thoughts float around during a meld, especially when you're not used to it."

"Oh, okay, good. Because I really do want to be with you."

"I know, silly. I can feel what you're feeling. Now, let's go to that bed you wanted to get to so much."

Sam withdraws her fingers, a weird, sympathetic loss making her own body shudder but then Nelia grabs her hand, kissing the wet tips, and she's not sure she has any more breath left to lose. The human leads her to the bedroom and they tumble onto the bed entwined body and mind. Sam just has to have more of that incredible skin, removing the asari's skirt and panties even as she's doing the same, unfastening Sam's belt and yanking off her pants, underwear, and socks with swift, sure motions.

Nel pulls Sam on top of her, and she's having trouble telling where her body ends and her new lover's begins. There's just the two of them, their skin melting together, the desire enough to drive her crazy. Her fingers slid back into Nelia, and Nel's into her, and there's this incredible thing going on where when she thrusts, she knows if she's hit the right spots. And then she thinks that Nel really should stroke her thumb over her clit and she just does it exactly the way Sam needs, and god that feels so good.

Somebody cries out, and she thinks it's Nel, but really it might be her too, and it's hard to say because they're both feeling it together. Nel pulls her closer, and that incredible tongue is on her ear, and her hand is playing with a teal breast and her nipple's throbbing like it was being touched too. She feels like she's unraveling, and all she wants is to come, wants it like she never has before, because this time there's all of this extra wanting that they're sharing.

"Goddess, Sam, now." Those words are the last thing she needs and Sam's brain goes into overload, the vestiges of rational thought vanishing into a sea of bliss. Nel's coming too, or they're both coming together, because that's more what it feels like, and then they're one big mass of singing nerves, and it's just ahhhhhh.

* * *

It's over and Sam collapses bonelessly on top of the asari. Even though Nel's not inside her mind anymore, she still feels so connected, kissing her collarbone while her lover runs her fingers through her hair. "So," she asks playfully, "Did your first time with an asari live up to your expectations?"

"Bloody hell, yes," she pants out, "That was incredible. What about you? Was that your first time with a human?"

Nel grins mischievously. "Well, there was this one time I met a blonde Spectre in a bar on Illium and one thing led to another..." Sam's brown eyes go as big as dinner plates before she realizes the asari must be kidding, and Nel laughs. "Nah, you're my first human." She's quiet for a moment, her train of thought ending up at an unusual stop. "I did once get propositioned by an elcor though."

"An elcor?" The visual is just too weird for Sam to imagine.

"You know asari can be attractive to all kinds of other species. Still, that guy wasn't very smooth." She deepens her voice. "With great interest: I would like to see you without your clothes on." Nel laughs that high happy laugh and Sam feels her heart melt when she adds, "I'd much rather have you."

Sam kisses the warm, squirming asari beneath her all over her adorable face. "You can have me for as long as you want."

"Glad to hear it," Nelia runs an arm down her body, giving her ass a playful squeeze, "Because there's a lot more having I want to do before we go back to work."


	7. After Action Report

"Is there anything else that you wish to add to your report, Captain Williams?" Councilor Vorus' tone is measured and even, suggesting neither approval or disapproval on the part of the stoic turian.

"No, Councilor," she assures him. She doesn't like the councilor, but she respects that he's straight-forward, at least for a politician. "I believe that you have the complete picture."

The same can't be said for Councilor Valern. The old salarian's failing health has done nothing to improve his temper and he acts as if casting aspersions on others will divert attention from his own government's questionable actions during the Reaper War. "So, you are telling us," he complains, "That you felt no need to inform this Council that you were in essence fighting a war with the leviathans."

"I though that the Council preferred not to become involved with the details of Spectre operations," she replies coldly, throwing one of this bunch's favorite dodges back in Valern's face.

"Normally that is correct," Vorus says calmly, "But on a matter of this importance, you can see why it might have been prudent to have kept us apprised of the situation."

"Think of this as chance to practice," she tells herself. Since taking command of the _Normandy_, she's tried to blunt her habit of always saying what's on her mind, no matter how much she may want to unleash her frustrations sometimes. "Commander Shepard felt that it was unwise to tell any more people than we had to. She and Doctor T'Soni had already discovered that the leviathans had sleeper agents and they couldn't be sure that the Council itself wasn't compromised."

Valern's reply is skeptical, mocking even. "But she was certain they hadn't gotten to you?"

"The commander knew those things would've had to shoot me before I'd give in to them." Her sarcastic side momentarily gains the upper hand. "She may have been less sure about politicians."

"Shepard," the salarian responds, deliberately omitting her old title, "Is no longer a Council Spectre. Do you think it's appropriate to make operational decisions of this magnitude just because she asked you to?"

"I'd gladly shoot you if she asked me to," she thinks. Ashley never could stand political bullshit, and though Spectres usually are above such concerns, these occasional chats with the Council are among her least favorite parts of the job.

Fortunately, Councilor Bakara is there to lend her a hand before she can get herself in more trouble. The female krogan has proven to be a natural diplomat and certainly is a friend to the crew of the _Normandy_. "Valern," Eve chides, "Commander Shepard's wisdom is well-known, and she has saved all of our lives, yours included. And in any event, the Council was not left uninformed. I was aware of Captain Williams' operations, which involved significant krogan forces."

"And you did not see fit to tell the rest of us about this?", Valern fumes. "Totally unacceptable."

"The only thing that's unacceptable is your disparaging a fine Spectre and the work that she did," Councilor Weng snaps. The former Alliance captain was involved in some of the worst fighting of the Reaper War. His cruiser had been shot down while defending civilian ships fleeing Earth and he spent the rest of the war leading a resistance organization on Earth. Weng has little patience for those who hadn't given their all at that time, a list that includes the salarian councilor.

Tevos, ever the peace-maker, tries to split the difference. "While I agree that Spectre Williams' actions were unconventional, these were unconventional circumstances that she was facing. Let us just be thankful that everything turned out well and that the problem has been dealt with."

"I think that would be for the best," Vorus agrees. Valern, sensing the lack of support for his tirade, nods unhappily as well.

"If that's all, councilors." Ashey hopes she doesn't sound too impatient, but she's had just about as much as she can take right now. Thankfully, they dismiss her with a final expression of gratitude from Weng and a request from Eve to pass on her regards to Shepard, and Ashley is on her way to somewhere else she'd much rather be.

* * *

The space station she's walking through has a long, boring, bureaucratic designation. It begins with, "The Shared Galactic Something or Other," and it's the kind of thing you end up with when five Council races have to agree on a name that doesn't piss anyone off. Pretty much everyone other than them just calls it the Hub.

The repairs have started on the Citadel, but given the mess the Reapers and the Crucible made of it, it will be years before it's fit for habitation, and that assumes the Council even wants to relocate back there. Between the tragedies it's associated with and that fact that it's now in the Sol System, that's very much in doubt, leaving the Hub to take its place as the center of galactic politics.

As of yet, the new station doesn't have anything like the luxuries the old Citadel offered, but the hotel she walks into is certainly nice enough for a grunt like her. She could have just had Michael meet her back on the _Normandy _of course, but right now, she could use a break from that ship. Of course, she hadn't made that decision without a certain amount of self-criticism. After all, did Shepard get shore leave after Virmire? Don't be ridiculous. Hell, the commander didn't even get shore leave after coming back from the dead.

Still, when the door to her room opens and she sees Michael waiting for her, she is glad she made the call. Her boyfriend's tall, wiry frame is stretched out in an upholstered armchair reading a data pad, and when she comes in, he rises, pulling her into his arms and planting a passionate kiss on the Spectre.

Her plan had been to do a lot more than kiss when she got here. It's been almost two months since they've seen each other, and she could really stand to get laid, but her brain isn't cooperating, still swimming in the events of the past few days. Instead of tearing off their clothes, she pulls herself out of Michael's arms and plops down on the bed in the middle of the room, kicking off her boots but not undressing any further.

"Hey, Ash." He doesn't comment on her actions, but she can tell from his expression that he's surprised.

"Michael. God, it's good to see you." She sounds more tired than she means to. "Sorry I'm late, but the politicians needed to bitch a little before letting me go."

"You okay? You seem…" He doesn't finish the sentence, letting her read her own meaning into his observation.

"Nah, it was just the usual Council bullshit." She doesn't volunteer more information. She's told him what her last mission was about, but not the messier details of its outcome. She wonders what it says about her or their relationship that this was easier to talk about with Shepard. She cares about Michael a great deal, but they haven't been through all the tragedies she shared with the commander.

His dark eyes study her intently. He's no stranger to the pain of loss in battle and she feels like he can read it on her face. "Something happened before, though. With the leviathans."

She turns away, picking up a room service menu and flipping through it. "So, do you think the hotel restaurant actually knows how to make a decent Earth steak?'

He snorts. "Probably not." He sits back down in the armchair, giving her space. "According to a krogan I me in the lobby, the roast beef is okay."

The Spectre forces out a chuckle, thinking of Wrex's prodigious appetite. "Faint praise." She tosses aside the menu. She's not really even hungry.

"True. Served with a krogan once. He'd have eaten the table in a pinch."

Ashley takes a deep breath. She may not have the same history with her boyfriend as with her old squad-mates, but she's not going to change that by being a coward. "You're right. The mission got ugly. Three people died on the ship and Shirat on the ground. He got crushed right in front of me and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to stop it."

Michael says nothing but instead moves out of the chair and joins her on the bed, clasping one of her hands in his. He has the hands of the engineer he was before becoming a soldier, his fingers agile but his grip strong, and she squeezes back, trying to push the tension out her body. "When Kaiden died, I felt like absolute shit that I was alive and he wasn't, but I told myself that it was Shepard's call. I was a soldier. I did my job and trusted that she knew what she was doing. This time though, I was leading that team. It was my failure."

"Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown," he says softly, kissing her on the cheek, his stubble brushing against her face.

In spite of her grief, she laughs. "Hey, that's my thing, the poetry. How'd you like it if I became the taciturn one all of a sudden?"

Michael shrugs. "It'd be weird." He runs a hand through her long, black hair. "Listen, I was never command. I can't tell you I know what it was like."

"I feel like there's a 'but' coming here."

He cracks a slight smile, but it fades quickly. "When I left Cerberus, it wasn't betraying the organization that was hard. What they'd become didn't merit anyone's loyalty. But turning on the people I served with... When I gave the Alliance the location of the base, I knew what would happen to them."

"I'm sorry." Someone else might say that those were members of Cerberus, terrorists serving an evil cause who got what was coming to them. Ashley's not that person. All of that may be true, hell it probably is in most of their cases, but she's been a soldier too long to think that meant a damn to Michael. These were his comrades, the people he'd fought and bled beside, and that came before anything else. Hell, she's served with her fair share of assholes, perhaps none more memorably jerk-ish than Javik, but she knows it'd hit her hard if the prothean died, let alone if she was responsible for it.

"Were you there when the Alliance attacked?", she asks quietly.

"No. It was another unit that got the job; I'd already been assigned to Sur'kesh by then. Never even found out who survived. But it had to be done. And so did this."

Ashley wraps an arm around her lover. "That's what I've been telling myself. Sometimes it helps more, sometimes less."

He replies simply, "It's what there is. I know you did your best."

"I just keep wondering though, was that good enough? Could Shepard have done more if she'd been there instead of me?"

A rare, wry grin crosses his face. "You know, when I was with that N-7 unit on Sur'kesh, we used to tell Shepard stories at night."

"Shepard stories? About her missions?"

"At first, yeah, but over time, they started getting more and more ridiculous. You know the type: 'Shepard beat a hundred geth to death with a stuffed varren.' 'Shepard took down a Reaper with a Carnifax.' 'Shepard gets asari prostitutes to pay her to sleep with them.'"

That last one elicits a smile from Ashley. As long as she's known Shepard and Liara, it's actually easier to picture her old commander doing the first two. "What's your point, Michael?", she asks.

"That even Commander Shepard can't live up to what we expected of her sometimes. She lost people. She had set-backs. So give yourself a break."

"I'll try," Shepard had told her something similar back on Ondren, but it's good to hear from someone else. "Right now though," she smiles, "I need you to give me something else."

He raises an eyebrow suggestively. "And what might that be?"

"Oh, you're a pretty smart guy," she laughs, pulling him down with her onto the pillows. "I'm sure you'll figure it out."

* * *

**A straight couple! Shocking! Just kidding, but seriously folks, hope you enjoyed this chapter; it leads into the events of the What Endured portion of 4****th**** Life, which …. dun, dun, dun… will return in a few days. Thanks as always for reading.**


End file.
